had migraines for the first time since i was in 3rd grade this weekend.yuck,nofun.
laying low and hibernating in the house.haventtalked to mw in 2 days ..feelsokay.hung out with jenb this am..that wasnice.. i tolsd her how i felt about a and m – i am going to call and see if they want to have a bday party for jen with me.
i willl wait till i feel less vurnerable.
i am so easily forgetting that i need tol ove people through their anger or hurt or frustration.
it’s my only choice now.. but sometimes i slip into feeling leftout or whatever and i cant do that anymore.cause it never worked at helping me towards feeling better…it always made my life worse and dreary
now i dont want to hang on to familiar old feelings when things come up..i want to transcend everything and all situations with love.. i can do that- i can love everyone whole heartedly and authentically- just sometimes if people want to stay in their pain..i’ll just slip away from them for the time being -not seek them out..i’ll let those in that kind of self hating pain- come o me..if they wish..but i guess the only way to guard against energy and love drains.. i must use caution ..not withhold love..just move away from anger.