it’s all changing and swirling in my head. my thoughts are on overdrive. i read some great things today, but i am too poor at this to link or quote..so take my word for it-my best friend in the world from 12 till 23 emailed me tday. no big deal right?
wrong. she hasn’t spoken to me in 5 years. nothing. – she hated me so very much that when i got sober , i was too freaked of her ire to even attempt to make amends to her.
but see, after all that has gone down in the last few months with my friends here..i decided i needed to get over it and find her and apologize for being a drugaddicted badbadbad friend.mostly because i’m sick of the cycle i fallinto with women friends-thinking it’s great then stopping trusting them then believing i did something wrong and dropping out of their lives-all because of this inbred belief that i am a bad friend and i am not. -not anymore. i was with her though. and that is why i need to clean up my past shit so i can start being a better friend and stop doubting myself.
damn -good self-therapizing,eh?