although i have lots to say i have lame finger skills right now.
i wish i could pour out tons of shit.
in regards to missing dad reference yesterday:
weird.. barnone..one of the hardest days i ve ever had with the issue of dad not being here
i was working, scanning a whole bunch..and i thought id throw a few of my pics in the mix, one’s i’d meant to scan forever ,
well ,i scanning away-when i hitthis one and it was bizerre.
it scanned in so big and i could see my dads face and see how much i loved him even when i was that little,
fuck
fuck im balling again. this is nuts.
i guess it has to do with how much we loved xmas. he and i were way more into it than mom and patrick or anyone else.
we cut down the tree, put up the lights and chopped the wood.
shit.
i feel so lost now. i dont want it sound so hard and sappy. but i lost any tradition ( of the rockwellian sort)
when dad died.
fuck i mean im going to vegas for xmas.
dad. if you read this, thanks for giving me such cool xmas spirit. id even go to m-ss in ur honor..if i was anywhere near the skiiers chapel..but instead ill play the slots